3:45 am still haunts me after all of these years

Hello everyone

I haven't thought about 3:45 am in many, many years...but last night as I struggled to get up to use the restroom I noticed the time..."Oh no! There it was again!" That horrid hour! The reason that I left Puerto Rico so many years ago to begin a new life! There it was to remind me...to bring up all of those memories! I can't believe that at the end of this month, it will be 27 years that she has been gone! Where has the years gone! I still remember her last breath! I remember my grandmother's last words! I remember it all! It never really goes away! I miss being able to talk to her. Maybe that is why my joints been hurting me so much lately! Stress is not a good thing for Rheumatoid Arthritis...In fact the doctors tell you to live a stress free life...but how do you get rid of the stress from the past? The stress of remembering that this is the anniversary month of such a horrid memory is more than my body can take. I just need to allow the memory to come and then let it go.  I need to keep the faith in Jesus Christ and allow Him to do His work in me!

You see that no matter how many years have gone by, I still feel guilty that she died and I didn't. Maybe I still struggle because my life was able to continue and her life was cut short at the young age of 18.

I need to remind myself what I tell others, "When Satan comes knocking on the door, I need to let Jesus answer the door." So, Satan, take note! I rebuke you in the name of Jesus!

In John 16:33, "I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world."

Jesus is ready to do battle for me. I know that He is! I just need to allow Him to do His work.

Until the next time...please know that I am praying for you and I ask that you continue to pray for me...

God Bless you...and I hope that I can sleep past... 3:45 am....

Fun Friday!

I love Fridays! Dinner with my hubby and kids is always a plus! Add a few friends in the mix and bang! Great end to a fabulous week!

I was just told this afternoon that I was placed on a committee specifically for my experience and background! Yeah!

I can tell you that today my Rheumatoid Arthritis was kicked in its butt! I walked two miles yesterday and another two miles today! My RA had to take a back seat to stiffness and pain because I have begun to get my exercise routine back! Zumba will begin as well! I am so excited to be able to walk again

The medication has stayed the same: Methotrexate and the sulfursalazine

I haven't had a change to speak to my doctor lately and I will not have an opportunity to get an appointment until my spring break because I will not take time away from my students. I hate having to share them with a substitute...

God has truly blessed me this week! Even though I have had my aches and pains He has brought me home safely each and every day!

I hope to walk two more miles tomorrow and Sunday and then I need to complete Chapter 4 of my dissertation within the next week. In other words,  I will be typing all day tomorrow and Sunday! Lots of work but 124 days and I will be graduating!

I will keep today short and sweet! Until the next time, I will pray for you and please continue to pray for me...God Bless and enjoy your weekend...

Happy Thursday~Life's little lessons

Today was a great day!

Working with students is the greatest job to have!

They allow my days to go by so much quicker than being in an office!

My days are blessed with their smiles, their energy, and their innocence! They teach me more then I can every teach them with their love of learning and their diligence to accomplish a task without getting frustrated. They give me more on a daily basis than any book can.

From the moment they come off the bus until the time they get back on the bus to go home, they are an everlasting promise that life is forever changing and nothing will ever stay the same. Working as a special education teacher gives me renewed strength every day. 

 Today, I had to smile as I was reading "Battlefield of the Mind" by Joyce Meyers! I the book, Joyce Meyers was referring to a married couple to which the husband and wife were having difficulties in their marriage. The difficulties were to such an extreme that it was causing difficulties to their child in school academically and behaviorally. Many believed that if the wife knew Christ, she would not have the issues in her marriage. But they knew Christ! Both of them did. But the wife was not willing to give up on things that she had learned in her childhood. Things such as: her father did not respect her or her mother; her brother was given more attention by her father because her was a boy; her father trained her to see that in life, men were worth more than women. This is one of the reasons that the woman could not give into many things within her marriage. She was not one that would compromise. 

I smiled because Joyce said that the wife began to pray for "Victory over anger, rebellion, unforgiveness, resentment and bitterness." Romans 12:2 was the scripture that was quoted. Really! I promise that I truly pray for the same things! I laughed because, God and I have this conversation on a daily basis! This woman prayed and would ask God against the being bossy, being rebellious and the best one yet: The  nagging! (It's me in a nut shell)

My body today was in a shut down mode! It was a little too much for me because by the time I got home from work, I had to lay down and rest and ultimately take a nap. Maybe my stomach began to hurt because I have been pushing myself too hard lately. Maybe my head began to hurt because I have lack of sleep. Maybe it's just my way of taking the time to slow down and take a moment. You see with my RA it is not just my joints that I have to worry about...it is my internal organs. Sometimes, I forget that. Sometimes, I think that I am still 100% healthy because I have God on my side. 

God has given me the strength to make it through each and every day! The strength to carry on with prayer and with diligence!  Because of God, I was able to celebrate my 6th year of not smoking! Yeah!

Well, until the next time we speak...you pray for me...and I will pray for you!

Thank you Joyce Meyer for the words of inspiration...

We need to be ready for the challenges that life brings 

School is back is session!

Hello everyone

God's blessing be upon you as they have been upon me today for the Lord again allowed me to enjoy yet another day!

Waking up this morning @ 0530 was quite the task. I was so excited to get to see my kiddos again that I was not able to get much sleep last night! I believe I finally dozed off at 0345 this morning which did not leave me with any time to...well you know get my snoring on...

With lack of sleep comes the pain from my joints...this always occurs when I am under the weather, when I am stress and when I do not get sufficient rest.

This morning my knees were quite the pair! They treated me as if there were tiny little millimeter people squeezing and twisting every part of my knees possible! Ugh! But God is so good that He allowed me to prevail and step down off of my bed and walk! Amen!

Isaiah 54:17 says, "No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thees in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord." (KJV)

This is the promise that I have from God! He tells me in scripture that no matter what RA believes it will do to my body, I am going to be fine!

Scripture tell me that even when I am weak, God is there for me! When my mind is telling me to GET UP and my body is struggling to just be...I know that He is there for me! 2 Corinthians 12:9, "But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me!" Ephesians 3:16, "I pray that out of His glorious riches He may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being." Colossians 1:11, "being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance." 1 Timothy 1:12, "I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has given me strength, that He considered me faithful, appointing me to His service."

It is because of my faith that I am able to prevail when I feel that I no longer can!
Because of my faith, I can endure!
Because of His love, I can be free to be me!

God knows the amount of tears that I have shed, no matter the reason. No one else can come close to knowing. God is and always will be my best friend. I have no other. Many have come and many have gone But He remains constant! He doesn't judge me. He doesn't chastise me. He doesn't try to change me. He loves me for me!

Yesterday I spoke of trials and tribulations and the power of technology! Today, I am so truly Blessed to have a wonderful job! Blessed to have the use of my extremities! Blessed to have said, "Yes!" to Jesus Christ.

I thank you all for following my blog and for knowing that whether it is a good day or a day that I struggle to take a step I know that there are those out there like you who will pray for me as I continue to pray for you!.

Thank you for all of your prayers.

I have begun to read Joyce Meyers' book, "Battlefield of the Mind!" Wow!
Loving it!

Until tomorrow...(it's time to go back and type some more of my dissertation!) 126 days and a wake up to graduation! Yeah!

PS. Thank you Maria for all of your help today! I know the kids were glad to see you!

Tuesday, January 3_ Technology is Amazing!

Hello Everyone,

I hope that today was as Blessed a day for you as it was for me!

God woke me up this morning and allowed me to see the light of a new day!

It was wonderful to read an email from my aunt today! Thank you Titi! I miss you dearly!

Technology can be so wonderful at times, as in the instance mentioned above! It allows us to communicate with friends and family in a way that was not possible just 20 years ago. Now we can instantly send messages and know that the recipient will have the ability of reading the message shortly there after. We also have the ability of visually seeing others through the use of Skype.  Amazing! I know! I have the ability of being blessed to Skype with my mom every evening now!

I have the ability of being able to seeing her from over 3,000 miles away! Isn't that great? Where was Skype when I was stationed in Korea and did not have the ability of seeing my babies...but I guess I was still Blessed since I was able to call my babies every day!

Even though I have Rheumatoid Arthritis, I am still Blessed because I still have the use of my hands and feet! I have the ability to type to all of you and reach out and tell you how my day was...Whether my days are good or not so great...the ability to communicate is such a blessing...the ability to tell you about how I feel today and the ability of hearing how your day is going with your RA is a blessing. Being able to share information about medication is...what works and which ones do not...is so beneficial to me because in the beginning, I did not have anyone to reach out to in order to ask questions.

Sure there is the doctor but not always the easiest to speak with when they are busy with other patients especially when dealing with the VA.

I give God the Glory every day. From the time I wake up in the morning until I lay my head down at night! God has brought me through so many trials and tribulations! He holds my hands when my joints are screaming out in pain. El me da la fortaleza cuando necessito!

No matter what I have going on in life, RA, working on my dissertation, being a wife or a mom I know that God will bring me through because I have hope!

Joyce Meyer had on her daily devotional today a message of hope.

She discusses how we need to have "Trust in the Power of Hope."

Joyce uses Proverbs, 13:12 as a scriptural reference, "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when the desire is fulfilled, it is a tree of life."

Her message was regarding hoping for something good to happen to you if you learn how to celebrate and enjoy life!

Isn't that a great idea! Learn how to celebrate and enjoy life will allow you to hope for something good to happen.

So, if you think about it, my being diagnosed with RA is not a punishment...it is another trial/tribulation... James 1:2 tells us to "Consider it pure joy, brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds."

Knowing what type of trouble to expect is a great help in being ready to meet that trouble!

I am learning to celebrate and enjoy my life no matter what...this weekend...I was able to visits my cousin and we went to Sea World...We had a blast...I took a picture with Bert & Ernie! hahaha...I rode a roller coaster, took a picture with the cat in the hat! Hung out with a few penguins...Yeah...Life is great!

Life is what you make of it! God gives us that ability as a Christian to deal with the trials and tribulations that come our way...No matter what! I will continue to praise Him... so until the next time...Continue to pray for me and I will continue to pray for you!

It's January 2012

Seriously, I can't believe how quickly time has gone by! My last blog was last summer!

I hope you are all well! I hope you are all taking your Tylenol and exercising! (inside joke)

To catch you all up a bit, I will be graduating with my Doctorate's Degree in Educational Leadership, K-12, in 149 days!

I have been so busy typing my chapters and making revisions that I really have not had the time required to blog! I am going to work harder at it this year!

My girls are all in college now! Two are seniors and the youngest one is a freshman! Wow! My baby boy is a sophomore in high school and taller than I am!

Living with Rheumatoid Arthritis has and always will be a challenge!

I find myself with days that are extremely amazing with no pain or difficulty moving around...and then there are days like today which were extremely painful and lots of exertion on my part to just get off the bed this morning.

I find that my skin is changing and it is severely dry. My face feels as if it is burning and my cheeks are bright red and itchy. I try not to scratch but I see my face is well having issues with a spot turning brown...idk kind of like the spot on my stomach from over the summer...which by the way has still not gone away! Don't know what to make of that yet...well eventually I will see my doctor when he makes an appointment or I actually care enough to make the time to schedule an appointment in order to see what is going on.

Medicine has not quite changed much...I was placed back on Enbrel this summer and well had a few allergic reactions that occurred around the site of the injection...pretty gross! But not taking it any longer and back on the injectable methotrexate and sulfur salazine.

Have not done Zumba in quite a while because I really do not have time and even if I did I just do not have the energy! It's like the old days when I would get home from work and I would just sit there because my mind and my body were not in sync with each other...which means my mind says I could do this or that and my body just laughs!

I have also found that you should not take water pills and shortly there after take alleve! Allergic reaction yet again! Make sure you have benadryl readily available or and epi-pen! I believe that I will wait and take them with over two hours of time prior to each other! Yeah! Not the greatest of experiences.

I got really ill prior to Thanksgiving...and that turned into Bronchitis...well after taking the Z-pack which by the way is a great antibiotic! I had a relapse the week after and I am still trying to recover and it has been over 6 weeks! Not as bad but I have my inhaler with me wherever I go.

My sixth year Smober anniversary was on New Year's Eve! Yeah! Six years and no smoking!

I have maintained my regimen of a hot bath daily...this seems to assist with stiffness prior to going to bed and in the morning if I have time I will use the paraffin wax for my hands and elbows to give me some relief prior to going to work.

Well I know this has been a lot of writing after taking a break but I am trying to get a little better at this and use it as a release from writing my dissertation! Which by the way we are having a love hate relationship at the moment! I do not know who or what I have ever spent so much time with over the years but this dissertation has to be in the top 10! Some days I am writing/researching/rewriting for 12 to 15 hours a day! I have become best friends with some members of my cohort because they spend the same amount of time with me in a library or in my home. We are on the home stretch!


So until the next time...I will pray for you and if you will continue to pray for me.

T

Wow! This year has gone by quickly!

Hi everyone
I know it has been quite some time since I last posted but I have been busy working on my dissertation...Chapters 1, 2 and 3 are done. Well they are just in the revision stages! Long story but My committee chair took a new position at a new university up north and we were given a new committee chair. She is one of my favorite professors ever! But she has a different style of writing preferences so as stated...revisions!
RA update!
Still on methotrexate and now they want me to begin Humira again! Ugh! Still taking sulfursalazine and Vitamin D which apparently I am always deficient in every time I take a blood test! Still struggling with weight!

My dad is 3/4 complete with his Radiation treatments.
My aunt Yvette passed away on July 6, 2011
My aunt Josie is still in the fight with her cancer

It's been a long year! But God is good!
so until next time I will pray for you and please pray for me!