Well, today I still hurt. I'm still sad and I was hoping that today would be the day. You know the one where I would feel better and instantly be able to jump up and state that I feel no pain. I know I sound a little whiny but I swear, I don't tell anyone how bad I feel because well that's just me. I don't want Brittany and Tajah to worry because they are in college, and I don't want Jasmin or Isaiah to worry because Jazzy's getting ready to begin her competition season and Isaiah is doing so well with golf. I don't want Ray and Richie to worry because well let's face it they have enough issues of their own. I definitely don't want Rico to worry because I don't want him to be sad. He doesn't want to talk about the planning for the "if I die" issue. Who's left? Other than God, well this Blog that I have just created...It lets me get it off my chest without letting my loved ones really know...you know...Maybe tomorrow, I won't hurt so much and maybe tomorrow I can be in remission with my Rheumatoid Levels in a normal range and not in the high 1,000's.....I'll wait on you Lord. I know that it's not my will but your will.
Thank you Lord for allowing me to be alive today and hug my kids one more time....
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Living as a Christian with Rheumatoid Arthritis
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About Me
- Tammy Rivera-Tubbs
- Who am I? What a hard question to answer. Since I have so many titles to address who I am.
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Definitely not the Brady Bunch
About Me Continued...
I'm that lady that has so much education that I'm still not done. You know, I have a Master's Degree in Special Education, a Master's Degree in Educational Administration and I'm getting my Doctorate's in Educational Leadership. You know the one that people always ask, "how do you manage with all those kids and working and going to school?" and I always reply, "God is good and He gave me a great husband."I'm the one who quit smoking, on December 31st, 2005. You know me, I'm the one who has been diagnosed with an autoimmune disease last year called: Rheumatoid Arthritis. Remember? It's me, the one who asks that you keep praying that God gives me the strength to make it through each and everyday. The one who asks that you pray for my husband and my children that are going through this disease with me. It's me, the one who knows that life is too short and trying to live each and every moment the best way I can. I hope that as I write these words, I can answer who I am. From the words of someone who has already lost their battle with an autoimmune disease, "I believe that, as a culture, we shy away from anything surrounding death and, consequently, deprive ourselves of all the lessons inherent in the dying and grieving process. We ignore the reality that death is as much a part of life as birth." I hope that my posts cover the gamut of human emotions because, as a Puerto Rican, I have always had a "rich" emotional life. While many posts are sad just as many are comical. This is not my version of "The Last Lecture." It is my heart, my thoughts, my joys, and my fears as they unfold along this journey. My hope is that you will find some of it useful on your own life's journey. I hope that sharing my experiences will help not only those struggling with life threatening illnesses, debilitating diseases but also to those who are blessed with their health as well. God Bless you and no matter what happens on this journey, know that I will always keep you in my heart and in my prayers.
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