Friday, November 7, 2008

November 7th

Well, today I still hurt. I'm still sad and I was hoping that today would be the day. You know the one where I would feel better and instantly be able to jump up and state that I feel no pain. I know I sound a little whiny but I swear, I don't tell anyone how bad I feel because well that's just me. I don't want Brittany and Tajah to worry because they are in college, and I don't want Jasmin or Isaiah to worry because Jazzy's getting ready to begin her competition season and Isaiah is doing so well with golf. I don't want Ray and Richie to worry because well let's face it they have enough issues of their own. I definitely don't want Rico to worry because I don't want him to be sad. He doesn't want to talk about the planning for the "if I die" issue. Who's left? Other than God, well this Blog that I have just created...It lets me get it off my chest without letting my loved ones really know...Maybe tomorrow, I won't hurt so much and maybe tomorrow I can be in remission with my Rheumatoid Levels in a normal range and not in the high 1,000's.....I'll wait on you Lord. I know that it's not my will but your will.
Thank you Lord for allowing me to be alive today and hug my kids one more time....

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